February 19, 2014

  • My unconventional relationship.

    So, my friend had a status message the other day that kind of inspired this blog. It ended up becoming a rather large status with everyone putting in their input here and there on what they thought was 'normal' and what wasn't normal. Anyways, I've come to realize that I have a very unconventional relationship. Now, its not that I didn't already know that but its that many people don't realize it or even 'get' it.

     

    At any rate, I started dating my husband in October of 03. In that time span of 10 years the hubby and I have only been away from each other for two weeks time. Those two weeks were when I was in the hospital giving birth and after my complications. Other than that we are around each other 24/7. Yes, we do run errands without each other from time to time and are away from each other for a few hours a pop here and there but for the most part there we are around each other. We do this out of choice. We do actually like each other and since we've invested so much time with each other, we pretty much know a whole lot about each other. Even though we've been together for 10 years, I tend to think that we act like a couple that's been together for 20 years just with the amount of time we spend together.

     

    Now, when we first got married my husband did get a part time job. Back then, that was considered more 'normal' to people. Even then I'd typically hang around the mall during his shifts and even sometimes see a movie while he was working. Again, we like each other and we like spending time with each other. I don't find it odd at all but I know a lot of people do find it odd.

     

    I know many friends have asked me over the years 'how do you do it?' and 'oh, you haven't killed your husband yet with that arrangement.' Not to sound like a broken record or anything but its not that tough when you really like and love each other. Sure, it does help that we have spare rooms and we know when to give each other space but really, its not that tough. Yes, we do have a lot of the same hobbies but at the same point in time we do have a few different hobbies between the two of us. We do give each other space and give each other room to be our own person even though we both work from home. My husband being always around also comes in handy when one of us gets sick. Last summer  for instance, my husband gave himself heat stroke and he spent the entire day upstairs. He went upstairs and I stayed downstairs with the girls watching movies all day. If I get sick, he's right here and ready to pick up the slack. When I had my dental work done and I had a craving for lemonade he was right there to run and get it for me while I gave our little one a bath.

     

    Does my husband drive me crazy? Yes, of course he does. Some days he drives me crazier than others but I think that goes with every relationship. Oddly enough, there are very few days where he drives me crazy. Do we fight? Of course we do! There's no couple out there that doesn't fight regardless of how much time they spend together. Of course, we fight very rarely. Typically, when we do fight its because one of us is hungry. Being around each other as much as we are its hard to not be on the same page. Things were really rough around the edges when our youngest was a baby. I would be upstairs taking care of her while he was downstairs writing(working), cleaning, making dinner or other things. If things started going bad with the little one aka teething I'd bring her downstairs and he'd put up whatever he was working on and help out.

     

    I guess I got lucky. I married someone who I enjoy being around and we both want to be around each other. I know I've read about certain couples that aren't used to being around each other 24/7 and the second it comes time to retire the couple realizes they can't stand each other and end up divorced. I can say that we won't have that problem. We have solid ground with each other and even when one of us runs out for a few hours for this, that or the other we do still text each other or call to say that we are headed home, finally. Yes, we are 'that' couple that is horribly close and makes everyone roll their eyes but at the same point in time some get jealous because they don't have that with the person they happen to be dating. Its hard enough nowadays to make a marriage last 10 years and somehow we've done it. We've also managed to make it last while being constantly around each other.

     

    Every relationship has its own quirks and I've accepted that. As long as there's no abusive undertones in the quirks who am I judge another couple and their ways? Besides, I would rather not be normal so its fitting that my relationship with my husband isn't normal.