June 23, 2012
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Remember when? or did we just all forget?
This week for me I've seem to have gotten into a ton of debates over parenting- mostly because of that video of the little teenagers bullying the bus monitor that went viral. I've heard so many people pointing the fingers at the parents and that one mistake from the child makes them a bad parent..yadda, yadda, input a lot of stuff..but yeah, I figure its time for a rant..
Anyways, I feel like a lot of people pointing fingers tend to forget what they were like as a child and need to go and call their own parents and have a talk about what type of trouble they got into as a kid/teenager. We've all done it- but the second we see another young kid mis-behaving we point the fingers and forget about our own mistakes that we made as a kid. What's that saying again- 'Those who live in glass houses shouldn't thrown stones' when it comes down to it I believe on this subject we are all in a glass house and have no right to say the parents aren't doing their job or messing up the kids because again, I'm sure if you think real hard you can come up with a dozen things you did as a child that caused your parents do basically have to do 'damage control'. The only major difference now is that the social media is here and Youtube and well, now our mistakes and our childrens mistakes can end up becoming 'viral' and end up as 'news'..which to me really isn't that comforting. I personally plan on teaching both my girls internet etiquette because well, nowadays you need it to survive. Not to mention, I don't want any of my daughters airing dirty laundry online or someone else's dirty laundry on the internet. I know a lot of people don't agree with me on this but kids learn through messing up..so do adults. Not giving your teenager a cell phone and certain internet accounts won't allow them to learn and the proper way to behave on the net. You can sheild all you want but in order for them to know how to behave on the internet you've gotta start giving them access to things and freedoms. After all, once you hit a certain age you have a lot of freedoms and your basically at the last real tests before you let your child out into the world be an adult. I want my girls to know and learn all they can under my guide before I send them out into the world.
Which of course, was part of the other debate I had this week- all about teens under 18 being on Facebook which mind you, they can be on Facebook as long as they have a parents permission. Now, how much the parents monitor what they do is up to them..and yes, kids can 'sneak' onto Facebook and lie about their age..Seriously, back in the 90s I would lie about my age to view porn(sorry dad) and to get into certain chatrooms..Every kid does it and infact, even kids my daughters age(six) lies about things in hopes of getting away with it or just to see if they can pull the wool over their parents eye's. Again, I say..stop pointing fingers..just because a kid 'sneaks' on Facebook or their parents decide to give them freedom with the net doesn't make them bad parents..again, think back to when you were a kid. I would also like to say if you willingly accept someone who you know is under 18 onto your Facebook account that you are holding yourself liable. If you know you swear a lot have at least the common sense to check your settings- just because you 'assume' the parents are keeping an eye on it. As someone who has been yelled at on World of Warcraft by someone else's parent let me just say this..when it comes to allowing a teen into the company of adults(regardless of if they lied or not to get there) you cover your own so you don't get yelled at by another parent. As a parent now I don't want lectures from other parents..Cover your own and make sure you won't get yelled at by parent..that simple!
In short, when it comes to teenagers(even though I don't have one just yet) I think we all need to step back and remember a time when we were teenagers/junior high and what we put our parents through- I already know its tougher then it was at one time BUT in this house the hubby and I team up and keep up on the technology as it comes out so that by the time our girls are teens we'll still be up on things and able to catch and monitor things..Of course, not everyone has the time or patience to do what we do here..so its understandable that mistakes happen..even parents I know with teens who do keep up with technology still have slip-ups with their teens..doesn't make them bad parents just means a slip-up happened..Everyone needs to get off their high horse and gain a kernal of empathy and remember when they were a teen..thats really all I've been trying to tell people all week. I don't care how wonderful you are now as an adult- remember back when you were a teen and pestering your parents. I bet you've done things just as bad as what keeps showing up on your 'news' on the internet...before you judge on anything about any other child whose done something wrong that makes 'viral news' seriously, think back to when you were a teen before you speak.