January 17, 2013

  • Are they...really?

    blocksnoshare 

     

    So, one of my facebook friends posted this article: http://thestir.cafemom.com/big_kid/149621/parents_with_only_one_kid?utm_medium=sm&utm_source=facebook&utm_content=beingamom_fanpage and I just kinda felt the need to go on a rant over it.

     

    First off, I do not agree with this  at all. I have only given birth to one child..Why? Well, its pretty simple child birth nearly killed me so we decided that we were done having kids. Sure, the woman who wrote it stated basically, that it wasn't directed towards women like me but still, I think it's way off base. Oh and yes, I do have a step child as well but she's out here only during the summers and we talk to her on the phone a lot..Anyways, on to my rant.

     

    We made the choice to not have more children..it was our choice regardless of if I had major issues with my pregnancy or not. Yes, I have more free time to myself than a parent with six children BUT I have no issues keeping my idenity and who I am outside of my family, marriage and being a wife and a Mother. I cannot begin to tell you how many Mommies I've talked to who just seem to lose grasp on who they are outside of being a wife and a Mother because well, they have no time for anything else or anything for themself. Its very easy as a parent to get burnt out if all you are doing is taking care of others and doing things for others. After all, a happy parent is a good parent and a parent who does have an idenity outside of taking care of others also makes a huge difference at the end of the day. I mean, you eventually want your child to have their own hobbies and their own 'thing' outside of school..correct? So, when Mommy and Daddy are constantly being pulled between this, that and the other and have no time for their own hobbies how can they really understand what you are trying to teach them with hobbies when you have no time for your own?

     

    I also highly disagree with this man's statement about only children not being able to make friends. My daughter has never had an issue making friends. She comes home from school everyday telling me all about this friend and that friend and even when she was in pre-school she was basically the 'popular' kid in the classroom to where everyone wanted to be friends with her and always wanting to help others out in the classroom..She also knows how to play alone as well and doesn't need anything human to keep her happy. She knows how to play pretend with her animals and imagine on her own without a sibling there. Even though my daughter is seven she still gets what we call 'alone playtime' on the weekends because since she is an only child we think its important for her to know how to occupy herself without coming to Mommy or Daddy to play pretend with her.

     

    This man also states that only children tend to be spoiled..Sure, my daughter has a ton of toys but she earns them and they can be taken away if she doesn't follow directions. She may get to do this, and that which is fun and exciting or get this or that which happens to be fun and exciting but she has lost things or had to wait to get things for not listening or generally not working with us when we simply needed her to work with us.

     

    I think its very easy to sterotype only children which I know a lot of people still do in todays world clearly seeing as how someone wrote this about single children..Regardless, its a personal choice to only have one child regardless of why you decide to only have one child..thats your own personal choice. I would much rather have a family that has one child, two children or even three children that can be well taken care of vs. someone having 10 plus kids that they can't afford. As long as the family can afford the amount of children they decide to have..thats their choice regardless of if you like it or not.