So, my friend had a status message the other day that kind of inspired this blog. It ended up becoming a rather large status with everyone putting in their input here and there on what they thought was 'normal' and what wasn't normal. Anyways, I've come to realize that I have a very unconventional relationship. Now, its not that I didn't already know that but its that many people don't realize it or even 'get' it.

At any rate, I started dating my husband in October of 03. In that time span of 10 years the hubby and I have only been away from each other for two weeks time. Those two weeks were when I was in the hospital giving birth and after my complications. Other than that we are around each other 24/7. Yes, we do run errands without each other from time to time and are away from each other for a few hours a pop here and there but for the most part there we are around each other. We do this out of choice. We do actually like each other and since we've invested so much time with each other, we pretty much know a whole lot about each other. Even though we've been together for 10 years, I tend to think that we act like a couple that's been together for 20 years just with the amount of time we spend together.

Now, when we first got married my husband did get a part time job. Back then, that was considered more 'normal' to people. Even then I'd typically hang around the mall during his shifts and even sometimes see a movie while he was working. Again, we like each other and we like spending time with each other. I don't find it odd at all but I know a lot of people do find it odd.

I know many friends have asked me over the years 'how do you do it?' and 'oh, you haven't killed your husband yet with that arrangement.' Not to sound like a broken record or anything but its not that tough when you really like and love each other. Sure, it does help that we have spare rooms and we know when to give each other space but really, its not that tough. Yes, we do have a lot of the same hobbies but at the same point in time we do have a few different hobbies between the two of us. We do give each other space and give each other room to be our own person even though we both work from home. My husband being always around also comes in handy when one of us gets sick. Last summer  for instance, my husband gave himself heat stroke and he spent the entire day upstairs. He went upstairs and I stayed downstairs with the girls watching movies all day. If I get sick, he's right here and ready to pick up the slack. When I had my dental work done and I had a craving for lemonade he was right there to run and get it for me while I gave our little one a bath.

Does my husband drive me crazy? Yes, of course he does. Some days he drives me crazier than others but I think that goes with every relationship. Oddly enough, there are very few days where he drives me crazy. Do we fight? Of course we do! There's no couple out there that doesn't fight regardless of how much time they spend together. Of course, we fight very rarely. Typically, when we do fight its because one of us is hungry. Being around each other as much as we are its hard to not be on the same page. Things were really rough around the edges when our youngest was a baby. I would be upstairs taking care of her while he was downstairs writing(working), cleaning, making dinner or other things. If things started going bad with the little one aka teething I'd bring her downstairs and he'd put up whatever he was working on and help out.

I guess I got lucky. I married someone who I enjoy being around and we both want to be around each other. I know I've read about certain couples that aren't used to being around each other 24/7 and the second it comes time to retire the couple realizes they can't stand each other and end up divorced. I can say that we won't have that problem. We have solid ground with each other and even when one of us runs out for a few hours for this, that or the other we do still text each other or call to say that we are headed home, finally. Yes, we are 'that' couple that is horribly close and makes everyone roll their eyes but at the same point in time some get jealous because they don't have that with the person they happen to be dating. Its hard enough nowadays to make a marriage last 10 years and somehow we've done it. We've also managed to make it last while being constantly around each other.

Every relationship has its own quirks and I've accepted that. As long as there's no abusive undertones in the quirks who am I judge another couple and their ways? Besides, I would rather not be normal so its fitting that my relationship with my husband isn't normal.

So, my daughter is upstairs playing in her room and I was thumbing through yahoo news since she didn't give me time to look through the news this morning and I ran across this: http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/is-it-wrong-to-call-daycare-%E2%80%9Cschool%E2%80%9D-171443380.html   I now ask, why does this even matter?

Now, anyone who knows our situation knows that the hubby and I both work from home but right before our youngest was ready to start pre-school we were told she needed some socialization. So, we enrolled her into a daycare BUT we were picky with the place we picked. It wasn't just a daycare it was a school. The daycare did have a curriculum and it was more than just running around and playing all the time. The place also had structure and was arranged in sections for easy pick up/drop off points for parents through out the day. Our daughter went three days a week and for a while she was in both pre-school AND the daycare school program we had her in.

Everyone's situation is different, we did it so our daughter could socialize some and get used to the structure a school would offer. Sure, she only went a couple of days a week for three days a week but it was something. It booster her confidence and it allowed the hubby and I a chance to go out and about without a child in toe which helped out our marriage. It just again, seems like everyone is all up in everyone's business to the point where....well, its annoying. Who is anyone to judge? Its not your situation to deal with at the end of the day.

Oh well, that's my rant for today.

So, as many of you know I've had major fears over dentists for years. Yes, I feared them so much that I neglected to go for years. Eventually, it took its toll on my mouth and I started to notice it. I lived with it for a while and finally I just got sick of it and I put my foot down and said that we were ALL going to go to the dentist to get checked out and get what work done that needed to be done.

Its been a long journey to say the least. My husband knew my fears and we were going back and forth on how to get me over my anxiety. It was his idea over the summer that I should go in with our daughter and observe her cleaning. So, he set her up with an appointment over the summer and I sat in on her cleaning. Now, I had a list of five dentists at the time that I researched. Two different sets of dentists as well- one for us adults and one for us kids. Turns out the second one on my list for the kids dentist was the jackpot since it was a family dentist. Logan made the appointment happily and he even asked a few questions himself about the dentist and whatnot. She went to her first appointment right before the fourth of July. I liked the office to me it was set up like a hair salon. The hygienist's were nice and friendly. It was also very obvious they were all trained on how to deal with kids. My daughter was a bit nervous but they helped her every step of the way and described stuff to her in terms she could understand for her age. I was pretty much sold on this dentist after my daughters first visit. I then met with the dentist who was friendly and not once was I made to feel bad for not having dental insurance for a long while. Anyways, all in all I went with my daughter to a total two other appointments where she had work done. After her first appointment where she had work done I was for sure that I had to do this for myself and for real, so my husband set me up with an appointment.

I had my first appointment before my daughters second appointment, so I knew what was going to go on but of course, me fearing dentists did have a nervous breakdown even though they weren't even putting any instruments in my mouth. In fact, my husband was in the room too for moral support and yet, I did still have my meltdown. So yeah, that got me labeled as a high anxiety patient and go figure, the dentist I selected happens to be the one in the office that deals with people like me. Anyways, after my daughters second appointment I got to go in and get the damage on my mouth. Oddly enough, it wasn't as much sticker shock as I was expecting.

So, on with the story: I had my work set up for after the holidays. I had a few prescriptions I had to take since I was the lucky winner of a mouth infection. The first appointment was by far the worst wait. It was mostly because I didn't know what was going to happen or how much pain I was going to be in after the fact. Seriously, I got a whole lot of pain killers and I automatically assumed that was a sign of how much pain I was going to be. I made it to the first appointment even though I wanted to run. Yes, my heart rate was too high and they couldn't do anything at first. My dentist was more than understanding, she got me calm down and they went to work.

It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Of course, I still hate the numb face feeling but then again my daughter hates it too. It was a lot of tugging, poking, scraping but all in all it wasn't THAT bad. I had my laughing gas and I had my music. The music helped immensely and I do have to say, if you fear dentists the laughing gas is the best 50 dollars you will ever spend. Sure, most insurance companies won't cover it for adults but trust me, its worth it. It'll calm you down and you keep you in the chair and even at some points it'll make the entire experience funny. Anyways, the dentist explained every step to me along the way. At one point the dentist and the hygienist did a happy dance because they saw my pretty teeth. Apparently a lot of people with my issue don't always have nice teeth but I got to the issue soon enough and my teeth survived. The first side really seemed to be the worst of it. The recovery was a bit more for the one side of my mouth than the other side. I guess that's not surprising either since I had them work on the side of my mouth that was the worst first. By the time they did the second side it went TONS smoother. They said they were done with first side and I was shocked but it took the same two hours as the first side. The second appointment with me was so easy that I came home, waited for the numbness to wear off, had some eggs, took a shower, and picked up my daughter from school. All in all the worst of it both times was a bit of soreness and the headache after.

Anyways, now my mouth is better and I'm thrilled! I can smile, open my mouth and talk without fear of being judged. I'm more energetic, more things are getting done around the house and I've picked up hobbies that well, I haven't touched in years. I also have a bunch better relationship with food. Oh food, I love food now! I don't fear having to eat because it may hurt. My diet is better since I can eat apples, oranges, strawberries, sandwiches, pizza. Yes, I adore pizza now! All the foods that I had stopped eating because they hurt my mouth suddenly didn't hurt anymore. I have freedom! Its as if I've woken up from a long winter's nap. Now, my husband has called and made his own appointment..Yay! Taking this step has been the best thing I have ever pushed for in this house. I think I finally understand that dentists aren't bad people and they do want to help. I love my dentist and if she can help me conquer my fears I'm sure she can help my anxious husband. I have overcome a major thing that I have been fearing!! I feel like I've taken over the world and no one can keep me down now. Even my husband says I'm more fun to be around and for some reason I can think on my feet more with our daughter. Well, okay my husband says the dentist did voodoo magic on me. Anyways, if you grew up in the 80s and you fear dentists..seriously, the technology has gotten so much better since we were kids and nowadays there's dentists that are trained on how to deal with those of us who are seriously anxious. Its a world of difference!