March 18, 2014

  • I support Grayson!

    mylittlepony

     

    So, last night as I was getting my little one ready for bed an interesting story started trending. Here it is here: http://www.700wlw.com/articles/national-news-104668/boy-gets-bullied-for-having-my-12161277/ Basically, this little boy is being bullied because he carries around a Rainbow Dash lunchbox. Instead of the school trying to stop the bullies and punish the bullies they tell the little boy to not bring his lunchbox to school. Now, anyone who knows me understands that I'm all about encouraging our kids to have their own identity and be their own person. The fact that the school is taking away the lunchbox is disturbing to me since they are basically bullying him as well which is not fair in the least. All he wants to do is carry around the thing that he loves, not only are the kids giving him a hard time about it now the school has taken away the thing he loves..Now, I'm going to go into detail here on how many levels this is wrong. I will try my best to not turn this into a novel.

     

    First off, this little boy is being bullied because the kids believe Ponies are for 'girls'. This is problem number one. Anyone who has a child starts to see the gender gap that we start our kids learning at a young age. Case in point: My own daughter was obsessed with the movie "Cars" from the time she was three to about five. She wanted to watch it once to twice a day and wear McQueen clothes. The problem with that is well, McQueen was put into the boys section. So, she naturally was wearing a lot of boys clothes. She also in that time frame liked Thomas which again, you can't find girls Thomas clothes. The media sets this out for us as parents- girls must like pink, tea parties, Barbies and playing dress up. Meanwhile, boys must like blue, cars, trucks and basically anything that's fun and messy. From the point our kids are born we teach them what they are suppose to do and not suppose to do because of their gender. There's nothing wrong with a girl playing with cars and there's nothing wrong with a boy playing with dolls. So, this little boy likes My Little Pony. There's tons of grown men who like My Little Pony's, there is nothing wrong with him and the schools need to tell the bullies just that but of course, they won't instead they take away his lunchbox. Our kids won't learn to accepting of things they don't understand as adults if we don't teach them how to be accepting as kids.

     

    Secondly, if you watch the video he is clearly upset that the school won't let him bring his lunchbox to school. He is clearly attached to it which well, kids of his age do. Kids naturally get attached to objects. This object is part of him since its something he likes. Now, again..I am all for kids gaining their own identity which is why the hubby and I make sure our daughter goes to a school just out of district so that she doesn't have to wear a uniform. Yes, I've heard the arguments for uniforms BUT here's the kicker with this story. This is a bag that the kids are making fun of him for and in uniform schools you are allowed to bring in bags of your choice and coats of your choice. Even if this kid was in a uniform school he would still be made fun of for it. This proves the fact that kids will find something to make fun of you for and even certain adults will find anything and everything to make of someone. The school clearly isn't dealing with by taking away his lunchbox. The bullies still get to go on with no consequences to their actions while the little boy gets a slap on the hand and told to not bring his lunchbox to school. No, you deal with the bullies. What in the world are you thinking? Give this kid a chance to be himself and not have to blend in because of what other people think.

     

    Thirdly, I was bullied in school and so was my husband. My husbands case is vastly different. He was bullied because he's missing fingers. In his case, the school couldn't simply tell him to 'bring other fingers to school' to stop the bullying. I was bullied for being the only redhead in my school, I was tall and my last name. I was a hand jester for most of my Junior high experience. I remember at one point my Mom went to my Junior high to discuss what the other kids were doing and as a result they sent out counselors to each and every health class to discuss bullying. I wonder how this school would handle this situation if it was something about the boy that couldn't easily be taken away to put a Band-Aid over the situation. The school says they take bullying very seriously but I question that with the way they are handling the situation. The kid being pushed around is the one that gets punished and not the kids that are causing the issue. This little boy is almost bursting into tears in the video because he can't bring his lunchbox. Come on, that just isn't right at all. He's been through enough. Now, deal with the bullies instead of bullying the child more so.

     

    Of course, there are some people(jerk people) who will say he had it coming knowing that he was bringing a pony lunchbox to school but seriously, he likes Ponies! Not every parent will tell their little kid that 'oh you can't play with that since its for girls!'. I know with my daughter I don't do that at all. If she likes it then she's allowed to like it. He's a kid and he as a kid just wants to bring something to school with him that he likes and that expresses what he likes. These little expressions also do at times help kids make friends with each other. I can't begin to tell you how many times I've seen my daughter make a friend at the park just because they bond over a SpongeBob T-shirt. Kids don't do things with the thinking of 'gee, this will get me made fun of if I do this.' No, kids just do what they like and are into what they like. Sometimes it is just that simple. The effects of being bullied are also felt to the child whose being bullied. I know for myself it took me numerous years to be comfortable with who I was because of being bullied. It isn't just a magical fix either and can haunt you into adulthood and even smash your confidence from time to time as a young adult. No one should have to be ashamed of who they are and what they like. No one should have to hide what they like either because they may be made fun for it at the end of the day.

     

    Again, I state if we want our kids to grow up into accepting adults then we need to teach them early how to be accepting as a child. Girls don't have to like everything that's labeled for 'girls' and boys don't have to like everything that's labeled for 'boys'. Its okay to step outside your gender role and we need encourage our kids to step outside of the gender role they are being handed. If a boy wants to play with dolls and ponies then so be it! Maybe, he'll learn compassion from the girls toys and possibly learn how to be a good father from playing with the dolls. Don't be afraid of your little girl wants to play with cars and figure out how things work. I know personally thanks to my daughters outside the box thinking she's doing second grade Science now. Also, kids sometimes make fun of her now because she's a girl and good at Science which is 'weird' because a girl isn't 'suppose' to be that smart. Instead of taking things away from our kids how about we give them the option to think outside the box and understand that people think outside the box. If we don't want a new generation of judgmental busy bodies we need to start teaching our kids how to accept that everyone is different. Let your little boys play with dolls and your little girls play with cars! There's nothing wrong with that at all.

     

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